


let’s fuck some shit up before it’s too late  [poetry + drabbles]

by sicklyyyyy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Bad Poetry, Death, Drabble Collection, Drowning, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghosts, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Medication, Mental Health Issues, POV First Person, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Poetry, References to Drugs, Swearing, author is currently thinking about catboys, im bad at writing but i also like attention, no beta we die like men, plays a cool guitar riff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sicklyyyyy/pseuds/sicklyyyyy
Summary: this is just a way to dump some of my writing :}there will be some heavier themes so please check tags-vie
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

hey besties

this is a place to dump my poems

most of the poems are just an expression of negative emotion and aren’t based on my own experience, but some of them are

please view my work as just words that were randomly thrown into the universe in a random way because i think that’s a great way to describe my writing process 

thanks for being swag

i really appreciate kudos and comments !!

-vie


	2. Chapter 2

_drabble 1:_

the second worst part of drowning is holding your breath.

the searing pain in your chest as you desperately try to keep alive.

the pressure building in your head until you feel you might explode.

the dread that you feel because you know you are dying a watery death.

the relief comes when you finally give in to the water.

the best part of drowning is succumbing.

until someone pulls you up out of the water.

the burning resurfaces.

trying to bring life back to a body that has already given up.

the worst part of drowning is being saved.

_word count: 100_


	3. Chapter 3

drabble 2:

starry skies are best when shared  
so are early sunrises  
and late night talks  
along with walks through flower fields  
in truth  
the only things  
worth being for  
are the things we share

the stories told after tears  
and the songs screamed at the top of our lungs  
the memories we share  
during late night calls  
or stupid get togethers  
that we make better  
just by acting like ourselves   
are the best things 

sitting on our rooftops  
and watching old movies  
or maybe even sharing a look  
that says more than our words  
they only have worth

because of you 

word count: 100


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in case there is any confusion: these have all been pre-written and only some will be posted, so if the numbers skip around don’t worry :]

drabble 4:

their fingers seemed   
to dance over the keys  
filling the empty silence   
with song

diamonds fell onto their hands  
caressed their cheeks  
poured from their eyes  
as they played

their sorrows  
and self pity   
becoming priceless treasures   
(that maybe shouldn’t be so priceless)  
and their achy fingers   
begging   
to wither away

the tears of their  
loneliness  
and the tears of their  
guilt  
melted away

into diamonds

and as the others peered in  
to watch them cry   
diamond tears  
they felt nothing but   
resent 

for what they could’ve been  
if not playing  
canon in d  
basking in the moonlight  
all alone

word count: 100


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is one of my personal favorites

drabble 5:

trapped in the body  
of a ghost  
the feeling of flesh  
so foreign  
the whispers of comfort  
curling in my ears  
and my   
lungs fill with smoke  
not from the drag of a cigarette  
but the settling of my spirit  
the comfort i find  
in a lack of life  
is blissful  
my head is filled with cotton   
clouding my vision  
and hurting my perception   
of the town i haunt  
it doesn’t hurt anymore  
when i see  
my loved ones  
coming to visit me  
and i can still hear their comforts  
they still warm my heart  
as if i were  
breathing 

word count: 100


	6. Chapter 6

drabble 6:

my darling   
you said you would  
never leave me  
because i was  
yours  
but now look  
at us  
we’re a broken picture  
frame  
with no sense of self  
you promised me  
that you would  
never  
leave

now here i sit  
numb on scented candles  
that are full of arsenic   
and i choke  
on my heart  
as the memories of  
us  
become too much  
but that’s ok  
because my lungs  
have already filled

maybe now  
through arsenic scented candles  
and old pictures in my hands  
the glass cutting my skin  
i can join you  
and i’ll believe  
that you  
never  
left

word count: 100


	7. Chapter 7

drabble 10: 

a murderous mood  
in a murderer’s town  
never mix well  
especially when  
there are so many people  
to hate

so now a murderer  
in a murderous mood  
in a murderer’s town  
is on the loose  
which is never good  
when there are thousands of people  
to hate

but there’s one   
that’s always gotten under the murderers  
skin  
following in their shadow  
watching their sin   
judging their every breath

so the murderer  
sets out  
in a murderous town  
in a murderous mood  
ready to finally  
get rid of the person  
they hate most

so now as their gun  
falls to the floor  
the murderer smiles  
a sick sick  
smile  
as they collapse  
to the ground

the murderer’s job is done

word count: 119


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> most of my work isn’t based on actual situation, it’s more of an expression of my feelings through real situations
> 
> i have never been in a romantic relationship so works based on it are most likely very inaccurate

drabble 11:

fuck you  
and fuck this town  
and fuck how much i loved   
to hold your hand  
wishing i could take  
all of my praise back  
you fucked me over  
and left  
me with nothing to grasp onto  
i’m just a stupid  
ghost  
a spirit  
a fucking hazbin   
full of regret  
with an ache in  
my non existent bones  
and ringing in my ears  
i wish i could tell you now  
how much i fucking  
despise you  
for leaving me with no hand  
to cling onto  
on these crisp autumn nights   
where i can’t even haunt  
you and your stupid grave

word count: 100


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehe 69 words nice

drabble 14:

forever is my favorite word  
it means so much  
and so little   
all at once

forever is the size of the universe  
how long memories last  
how long i’ll love you

but forever isn’t real  
it’s a feeble grasp  
at permanence   
in a world full of  
loss and hardship 

and even though  
my memories of you last  
and your things still remain  
a bitter reminder  
that nothing lasts

forever

word count: 69


	10. Chapter 10

drabble 15:

arsenic lullabies   
fill her ears  
with comfort  
and she knows it’s wrong   
to love their words  
when they used to  
sting so much  
but she can’t help  
but love  
the bitter words  
filling her thoughts   
and brightening the room   
even though she knows  
no one is there  
her candles give her comfort  
and the tape recorder clicks  
the voices looping  
again  
and again  
and again  
as she chokes on the   
scent of the candles  
and swallows a sob  
as the words of the dead  
tell her she’s   
loved

word count: 88


	11. Chapter 11

drabble 18:

my body weeps  
i have become weak  
and wary of the  
world  
my dirtied nails  
puncture stems  
of daisy flowers   
as i pull them out of the concrete  
harshly  
i am afraid to face them again  
what would they think of me  
i am even less than   
flesh and bone  
and i know  
that they will not recognize   
my whispers in the wind  
and the bunches of  
daisies  
left on their doorstep  
will seem like a cruel joke  
even as i watch from afar  
they will never make  
daisy chains with me   
again

word count: 93


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> once again: i am not writing about anyone in particular !! i am not dealing with a difficult situation, and use negative emotions to write fictional scenarios

drabble 19:

god

i [fucking] hate you  
i hate you  
i hate you  
i hate you  
i  
h  
a  
t  
e  
you.

why’d you have to go and  
f  
u  
c  
k  
everything  
completely up.

i hate you  
i hate you  
i hate you  
i hate you  
i hate everything you stand for.  
and i hate  
your empty promises.

i hate that i  
trusted  
y o u  
.

word count: 65


	13. Chapter 13

drabble 20:

why am i pushing away the help  
of the people who care  
about my well being

and why do i push away  
the mere idea  
of medication  
from every therapist i’ve seen

why can’t i admit to them  
that i am afraid to become dependent  
on a drug  
to make me f e e l

so tell me why  
i still feel shitty  
even after i try to feel better

will someone please tell me why  
why  
w h y  
w h y  
w h y  
i’m still refusing their drugs

word count: 91


	14. Chapter 14

drabble 21:

why do i   
need you  
so bad

when you still make me feel  
terrible about myself  
you tear me down  
and build me back up

why do i   
need you  
so bad 

when you pick up my broken pieces  
and make me feel so loved  
i hate that i forget  
how much it hurts

why do i  
need you  
so bad

word count: 61


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this as a joke bc one of my friends was calling me pretty and now it’s just kinda sad to read

drabble 22:

don’t do that  
don’t lead me on  
don’t make me feel  
pretty  
when i know i’m not  
it just makes you look  
s   
t  
u  
p  
i  
d  
so you might as well  
quit it with the pity   
because it makes me want to  
rip my own hair out  
and not in the way that fashion models do it

word count: 59


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don’t know if it’s just jealousy or if i’m having a gender identity crisis but damn this is a good way to describe how i feel because i know that i’m cis but sometimes i just want to be more and more androgynous

drabble 23:

i want to be pretty  
the way boys are pretty  
but i’m still a girl.   
and i want to be  
androgynous   
because it makes me feel good  
but i’m still a girl.   
i want to be called pretty  
because it feels better than  
beautiful or gorgeous or handsome  
but i’m still a girl.   
i want to be feminine  
in the way boys are feminine  
but i’m still a girl.   
i want to wear nail polish   
and have it feel the same   
as if i were a boy  
but i’m still a girl.   
i want to be a boy  
in the most pretty way possible  
and with all the facial features  
and shock factor   
of being feminine

but i’m still a girl. 

word count: 121


	17. Chapter 17

drabble 24:

some days i want to be like icarus,  
and stretch my wings out,  
because what is the point of falling,  
if i do not enjoy life first?

some days i want to be like annabel lee,  
and fall without my lover,  
because would it not hurt too much,  
to see them fall first?

some days i want to be like heather,  
and feel loved by someone else,  
because why would i not want,  
to be the subject of admiration just once?

some days i want to be liked.

word count: 88


	18. Chapter 18

drabble 25:

sea foam pools around her feet  
and she cries  
because it reminds her of a loving touch   
she remembers their past 

“do you promise you love me?”  
“it’s too soon to tell”

her toes are in the sand  
and she wants to scream   
because she still feels  
their lies on her skin

“why won’t you say it back?”  
“i’m not ready”

she is wading into the water  
silently hoping she drowns  
because then maybe  
she won’t feel so stupid

“why will you never spend time with me?”  
“you’re too clingy”

maybe she was. 

word count: 93


	19. Chapter 19

_drabble 26:_

the walls have eyes,

and they stare at our sins,

burning holes into the backs of our heads

the walls have ears,

and they can hear our every move,

judging every creak in the floorboards

and the walls,

they speak,

and they tell us of our sins,

and they whisper in our ears,

_“what have you done?”_

and they yell at us,

because we have failed them

_word count: 67_


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i started antidepressants today and i had to hype myself up to take them and i wrote a really bad poem about it because i’m genuinely very freaked about being on medication. 
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated!
> 
> -vie

drabble 27:

the medication hurts to swallow  
and it’s probably not great to use  
an energy drink to get it down  
but it’s not my fault   
the capsules scare me so much   
even though they’re only 10 milligrams  
of whatever antidepressants i was prescribed   
it still scares me more  
than everything else combined   
i can feel it aching i’m my throat hours after  
i took my pills  
a gentle reminder that something is wrong   
but i remind myself of the good it is meant to bring   
and that it is okay for me  
to need a crutch   
(especially when getting out of bed is so hard)  
the medication hurts to swallow less

word count: 110


End file.
